Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Your Wedding Invitations and Stationery are a reflection of your good taste and personal style.
The Wedding Shop will assist you in selecting beautiful wedding invitations and stationery with the correct wedding invitation etiquette.

Wedding Invitations
The Invitation is the most important part of your Wedding Invitation Ensemble. It shows who is getting married, the day, time, year and location and hosts. The Invitation is mailed at least six to eight weeks prior to the ceremony. Invitations may be issued by the parents of the bride or by the bride and groom themselves. If one parent is deceased, the surviving parent may issue the invitation. If both parents are deceased, a guardian, a close relative or a family friend may serve as the sponsor and issue the invitation. Examples of these formats are provided below.

Names on Invitation Envelopes
The envelope is addressed "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" (first names omitted), with the address. Avoid using the phrase "and family". All family members should be included, for example: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", "Lucy, Jane and Evan". To assure that the invited guests receive your invitation, we recommend that you have your return address printed on the envelope.

Abbreviations of Courtesy Titles for Invitations and Envelopes
The abbreviations for Mr., Mrs., Ms., and Dr. are used as proper titles. Always write out titles for clergy, judges and military officers.

Addresses on Wedding Invitations
House numbers are expressed in figures. No commas are used when separating digits in house numbers. Apartment numbers, suite numbers, box numbers and rural route numbers are expressed in figure form. Addresses of churches, clubs or public buildings are usually omitted because such addresses are public knowledge and generally well known. However, a street address may be shown below the name of the church or club if such an address is considered necessary for clear direction.

Wedding Stationery Postage Costs
In Australia the cost to post a wedding invitation should be as follows:-

DL size envelope – 1 regular stamp
C6 size envelope – 1 regular stamp

Square envelope – 2 regular stamps

C5 size envelope – 2 regular stamps

Tip:  Ask the post office to show you their selection of wedding and decorative stamps for your invitation and stationery.

Wedding Seals
Envelope seals are available at Australia Post and come free in decorative stamp packs.  These are placed on the outer envelope flap to give your invitation a more attractive appearance.

RSVP Cards
This card is enclosed with the wedding invitation so that you can finalize reception arrangements and provide for all who plan to attend. It is a nice and convenient way for guests to reply. The RSVP card is inserted with the invitation into the envelope.  The printed Return address is included in the price of the RSVP Cards.  It is recommended that the RSVP should include a stamp.

Direction and Map Cards
The direction card, which is enclosed with the invitation, is a thoughtful and practical way to be sure your guests arrive at the correct location for your ceremony or reception. This card is enclosed with the invitation. If further directions are needed, a map may be necessary.  Direction cards and maps should not be photocopies, they should be professionally printed to match your stationery.

Change of Address Cards
These cards may be enclosed with wedding invitations or announcements, however, it is preferred they be mailed separately after the wedding. If you choose to include your new address card with your wedding invitations and are planning to change your name, it is not proper to use your married name. When mailed after the ceremony, this card may also be used to express the new name preference of the bride.

Wedding Announcements
The wedding announcement is sent to those who have not been invited to the wedding. Announcements can be the same as your Invitations in terms of design, ink color and lettering. Any of the invitations or stationery in the Swish Invites range may be used as a wedding announcement. Announcements may be sent to friends or relatives who live far away, old friends who have been out of contact with the bride and groom, business associates and friends who cannot be included because of limited space or resources. Announcements are usually addressed beforehand and mailed immediately after the wedding.

Thank You Cards
Thank you cards may be personalized with the names of the bride and groom, as well as guest names and your choice of text.  We can print the words "Thank You" on the front of the cards or you may have the bride and grooms names, using the same elegant lettering and ink color as your invitations and stationery.  Thank you cards come with a white envelope. Your return address will also be printed on the envelope.

BRIDE'S Parents and GROOM'S
Parents issuing Invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Kimberly Ann
and Paul David


BRIDE and GROOM issuing
OWN Invitation

Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage

The word "Ms." may be substituted for "Miss".

Mother and Father LIVING
Use Conventional Invitation Format as Follows:

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Caroline Ann
to
Mr. Andrew David Brooks
on Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and five
at four o'clock in the afternoon
Saint Ann Church
Richmond, Virginia

If the Wedding is held at the Home of a friend,
substitute in place of Church
the following wording:
...at the residence of
Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Carl Powell
875 Baker Street
Richmond, Virginia


Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has NOT REMARRIED

MOTHER Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

FATHER Issuing Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks


Mother or Father DECEASED
and Living Parent has REMARRIED

MOTHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation
using her Present Husband's name:
Mr. and Mrs. Carl Spencer
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

FATHER REMARRIED Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

(In either of these cases, if the Bride is close
to her stepparent, the phrase
"at the marriage of their daughter" is acceptable.)


Mother and Father DECEASED
and Brother or Sister issues Invitation

Mr. and Mrs. Terrence Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his sister
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks
or
Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Kelley
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her sister
Kimberly Ann Williams
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks


DIVORCED Parents issuing Invitation

DIVORCED Mother's Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

DIVORCED Father's Invitation:
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks

DIVORCED Parents Both Issuing Invitation:
Mrs. Stephanie Williams
and
Mr. Brian Williams
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
to
Mr. Paul David Brooks


SECOND MARRIAGES

Invitations to the marriage of a young divorcee or
widow do not differ from those of a first marriage
except that the Bride's married name and her title may be used:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Ms. Kimberly Ann Williams Smith
to Mr. Paul David Brooks

GROOM'S FAMILY Issuing Invitation:
Mr. and Mrs. Aaron Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss Kimberly Ann Williams
to their son
Mr. Paul David Brooks

Either "Miss" or "Ms." are used when the
sponsors of the wedding are not relatives.


DOUBLE WEDDINGS

When Brides are SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Jenna Elaine
to
Dr. Timothy Lee Andrews

When Brides are NOT SISTERS:
Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
and Mr. and Mrs. Frank Moreland
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Kimberly Ann Williams
to Mr. Paul David Brooks
and
Lauren Renee Moreland
to
Mr. Christian Robert Stewart


RECEPTION Invitation
Issued when Ceremony is PRIVATE:

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Williams
request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception of their daughter
Kimberly Ann
and
Mr. Paul David Brooks
Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand and five
at six o'clock in the evening
The Riverside Inn
Richmond, Virginia


Correct Use of Military Rank on Wedding Invitations

NAVY

ENSIGN and HIGHER RANK:
to
Paul David Brooks
Ensign, United States Navy

PETTY OFFICER and SEAMEN:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Navy


ARMY, AIR FORCE AND MARINES

CAPTAIN or HIGHER RANK:
to
Captain Paul David Brooks
United States Army

LIEUTENANT:
to
Paul David Brooks
Lieutenant, United States Army

NON-COMS and PRIVATES:
to
Paul David Brooks
United States Army

WEDDING INVITATION ETIQUETTE

Do we need to use save the date cards?
A great way to let your out of town guests know about your wedding date is to send Save-the-Date cards. They may be essential for planning flights and taking time off around peak vacation times. Save-the-dates should be sent out at least 3 months in advance of your wedding date, but it is recommended to send save the date cards 5 months to a year in advance.

How do we get the word out about the dress code?
Dress code should be included in the wedding invitation.
 

If you are planning a very small wedding and a larger reception or vice versa do we need to send separate invitations for the wedding and reception?
If you have chosen traditional full day invitations then your guests will also have been invited to the wedding and the reception. A separate reception only invitation should be sent to those just invited to this part of the celebrations.

Is it okay to ask for money instead of gifts?
You may use a wishing well but please don’t include anything about gifts in the body of the invitation.  Place your wishing well on the back of the invitation or on a separate insert.

We have registered a Wedding Gift List at Myer but don't know how to let our friends know. Is it okay to enclose a card in the wedding invitation?
You may enclose a card in your wedding invitation, or have the details printed on the back.  Please do not include these details in the body of the invitation as this is really bad form.

Is it okay to include a map in a wedding invitation? Most of the guests will be coming from outside of the city.
Yes, but no photocopies please. Make sure they are printed as beautifully as the invitations themselves.

We are planning a very small wedding. Do I need to send wedding announcements after the wedding to our friends who aren't invited to the wedding?
Wedding announcements are a lovely idea but not necessary.  If you decide to have them, mail your announcements a day or two after the wedding.  To do this you may need to have them prepared before hand so it does not conflict with your honeymoon.

My parents are divorced, and my father has remarried.  Whose names go on the invitation?
This is a tricky one and needs to be discussed with both parties to avoid offence  .If your parents agree, list both names on the invitation.  If they don't want their names to appear together, the name of whoever is hosting and / or necessarily paying for - the wedding should be on the invitation.

Can I include a poem or verse in the invitation?
Certainly, it may go in the body of the invitation if it is only 2-3 lines maximum.  It is important not to make your invitation text cluttered.  If the poem or verse is longer it will need to go on the back or inside cover of the invitation or even on a separate insert.

How do I work out the RSVP date?
Response deadlines should be no later than two weeks before the special day, or the date your caterer needs a final count. If after two weeks you haven't heard from some people, phone calls can be made to those having trouble putting pen to paper. This gives you time to figure out exactly how many people will be attend